Free Wife

[Herb Stoops]

Boy I sure could have used this thread in 1968 when I married my first wife!!!!
Just saying,
Herb

[Nickp]

...for a second I thought you meant WiFi and misspelled it...

[DaninVan]

...for a second I thought you meant WiFi and misspelled it...

Probably would have been a lot less expensive(?)...

[Bushwhacker]

I just posted here to update the "Free wife " form the 8th of November.

Bushwhacker

[smitty10101]

Just my 2 cents---- there is NO such thing as a free wife.
Somehow, someway, sometime---it'll cost you.


A LONG time ago a magazine (Playboy??) did an article that if you hired outside people to do the tasks that we commonly attribute to our wives (yes, EVERYTHING, wink) it would be cheaper and we, men, would be happier. The cheaper part I don't buy. The happier part---most definitely.

Again just my 2 cents.

[Bushwhacker]

I have one of those machines that you lay on and it will tilt you up until you are up side down. It is for alignment of the spine. Back when I worked out daily, I used it a lot. But, now since I have have cataract surgery, it causes too much pressure on my eyes do to blood flow while up side down.
It is in very good shape.
I would like to give it to someone that could get some benefit from it rather then setting it out to the street, for trash of scrap metal.
PM me if you or you know of someone that could use it. It can be picked up or I could deliver locally.

Bushwhacker (David)

[Bushwhacker]

Doesn't look like any one wants this machine. I will be back home in a few days and will set it out front.
Everything I put out there, is gone before the day is up.
Just seems to disappear.

Bushwhacker

[DaninVan]

Put it in your local Buy 'n Sell as a 'Sex Toy' ...$100 OBO.

[Herb Stoops]

Years ago,I bought one from a guy at work, and thought it would help my back, But I could never get used to hanging upside down and all the blood rushing to my head. So I told the wife to take it to the Good Will. She told her stepsister,my big mouth ole fat slug of a sister-in-law and she said she wanted it. So she took it and used it one time and hung upside down all day until her husband got home and helped her get right side up again. I think they had to rent a forklift,or crane. She was mad cause she missed all of her soap operas for the day and got rid of it.
Herb

[Bushwhacker]

I can see how this is your fault. since you are the one that knowingly gave this dangerous machine to this poor woman that suffers an over eating syndrome of which she has not control.
Instructions should have accompanied the machine to insure she had a lift or a crane of some sort to remove her from this dangerous machine ( that you gave her0 . shame on you. tsk tsk (finger shaking)

Bushwhacker

[Herb Stoops]

Yes the instructions did have a disclaimer, not to use it while alone,always have another person in the house. I had the wife mail them to her.
Herb

[DaninVan]

Speaking of instructions, i note that at this point this thread is in the middle of the downloaded Instruction Manuals...I'm really looking forward to reading this one!

[Herb Stoops]

Maybe this shouldn't be on this thread,but my wife's' best friend was an over sexed woman and was on her fifth or sixth husband,and had at least one kid from each one and this poor guy was completely worn out but she need attention. So he took her to the old bachelor next door and asked if he could help her out. The guy accommodated his neighbor. Within a year the neighbor was knocking on deaths door,and the night he died he romped all night with her, and they said he died with a smile on his face.

[Nickp]

they said he died with a smile on his face.

I would hope so...!

[MikeSibley]

The only reason that I married my first wife was that I couldn't resist a sale. Yup, she was on sale, she was half off!

[Cherryville Chuck]

The only reason that I married my first wife was that I couldn't resist a sale. Yup, she was on sale, she was half off!

Was she 100% off by the time you split?

[Herb Stoops]

The only reason that I married my first wife was that I couldn't resist a sale. Yup, she was on sale, she was half off!

I don't even want to go there it was the dumbest thing I ever did, getting hitched to her wagon, and I have done some dumb things in my life.
Herb

[MikeSibley]

The only reason that I married my first wife was that I couldn't resist a sale. Yup, she was on sale, she was half off!

Was she 100% off by the time you split?

Absolutely, but the price tag to shed her was extremely expensive!

[Herb Stoops]

I was lucky there she didn't even show up before the judge, she had a kid a year after we parted and put my name on the birth certificate, and 33 years later I got a phone call, "Hi Dad"...............
Herb

[Biagio]

Herb, I trust you made it clear to all concerned, that the last occurrence of parthenogenesis, resulting in a live birth, occurred some 2021 years ago?
Since then, it has only resulted in strange ovarian cancers.
Of course, there is always amnesia, substance-induced or dissociative.

[Cherryville Chuck]

The only reason that I married my first wife was that I couldn't resist a sale. Yup, she was on sale, she was half off!

Was she 100% off by the time you split?

Absolutely, but the price tag to shed her was extremely expensive!

My wife of 45 years asked me the other day if I still loved her. I said yes and she said why? I said because it's way too late in the game to start thinking about starting over now. We both laughed and she said Yeah, you're right.

[Herb Stoops]

Herb, I trust you made it clear to all concerned, that the last occurrence of parthenogenesis, resulting in a live birth, occurred some 2021 years ago?
Since then, it has only resulted in strange ovarian cancers.
Of course, there is always amnesia, substance-induced or dissociative.

I went to my attorney and asked him to get it removed. He said in this state a woman can put whom evers name she wishes on the birth certificate and there is nothing I can do about it until it is contested for some reason like child support. Then I have to prove it is not mine. In those days way before DNA was founded, it was a significant chore. My luck was that she put it up for adoption and all I had to do was sign a release. Her adoptive parents gave her a very good home and treated her as their own, she told me.
Herb