Workers Of Wood

There is this wired, high strung and very friendly toy poodle. The HO comes home w/ the dog and lets the it into my work site.

Sees me... Zing... Jumps up.... I step aside [hands are full].......

SPLASH!!! Four point landing into the 5 gallon bucket of Sapphire Blue paint. I recall the sound as more of a splat with some Q's than a splash.

Then there is this detonation of dog, geyser paint, toppled bucket of paint and general pandemonium.

The dog shifts to warp 12. Starts running every where. Runs into and ricochets off of any and everything. Over the tops of furniture. Zooms at break neck speed. Nothing is safe. Lamps, pictures, vases and whatever that is on the tables is now finding it's way to the floor. Many things not surviving. All is doomed.

The dog came back thru for a reload of paint several times. So much for the formal
dining and living rooms and foyer. Paint even found it's way to the ceiling. The foyer being ground zero.

The HO attempted to catch the dog... She promptly steps into the large puddle of paint... Now begins the slip sliding away aka frantic fancy foot work w/ flaying arms in the effort to stay up right.. (the paint on a plastic sheet was some kinda super slick). Arms and legs flaying the air so fast they were a blur. It was like she tried to go 15 directions all at once.

At one point it actually seemed as though she was succeeding staying upright. Then gravity took over, her feet came out from under her and almost completes a full back flip. W/ toes aimed at the ceiling she comes down hard. SPLAT!!!

This action takes two step ladders going apocalyptic, a full gallon of much darker trim blue that was on one of the ladders is added to the mess.

The 8' ladder takes out the left 4/0 – 7/0, 24 lite, cut crystal French door.
The other ladder (a 12'er) goes for one upmanship and does a number on huge really old leaded stained glass window. This one of kind extremely elaborate window (11x10') was a rescue out of a circa 800± AD small town Italian church that was demoed.
If you were an antique or recently installed you didn't stand a prayer of chance of survival.

Her husband rushes into the room just in time to witness the pandemonium and falls to his knees convulsively LHAO. His face turns beet purple red. He's holding his chest with one hand and using the other to keep his face out of the paint but no luck there. I sure he was going into cardiac arrest. YIKES!!!

Latter I find him sitting in the kitchen and he tells me to finish his beer because he couldn't keep it from running out of his nose. A month latter he's still laughing about it w/ gusto all the while turning beet red and SNORKING. I believe he's the only one that had a good time.

My helper, the painter, collapses (plops) into all this mess and she starts to cry. Bawl is more like it.

Me, I went catatonic. When the ladders did their thing I think my brain short circuited. The AW SHID factor was way past the next level.

The adjoining rooms are now thoroughly trashed and then dog says good enough, I'm done here and heads upstairs after picking up a fresh reload of paint - the HO dripping in paint is right behind it. Well so much for the upstairs.

Especially the master bedroom. Lots of thumping, crashing and banging going on up there along w/ a generous helpings of loud, heavy and colored vocalization from both of them.

I don't think a room, person, a piece of furniture or item in that house survived the Blue Sapphire Massacre. Oh the carnage.

Since that, shall we say, entertaining day, every time I saw the husband he would bust out laughing till he choked, mumble something about the dog and paint then laff all the harder.

BTW, the originally pure white dog had a blue tint to it for months.